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Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Might ...

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In Japan, millions of people have ikigai (pronounced Ick-ee-guy)— a reason to jump out of bed each morning. What's your reason for getting up in the morning?

Ikigai – Discovering Your Passion and Purpose

Last Updated on  by Inspire Malibu

In the words of the late actress Katharine Hepburn, a fierce personality known for her spirited honesty, “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” The reality of Ms. Hepburn’s opinion, though blunt, is undeniable.

Recovering from a drug or alcohol addiction adds another degree of difficulty to the human experience. However, within our day-to-day struggle, having a passion and purpose in life creates a shelter from the incoming storm.

The Japanese word that translates to “a reason for being” is ikigai. It’s a concept that suggests finding one’s purpose provides fulfillment and brings meaning to life.

Dan Buettner is National Geographic Fellow and bestselling author of “The Blue Zones,” a book about areas of the world where people are more likely to live past 100 years old.

One of the biggest factors to a long life, suggests Buettner, is a strong sense of purpose.

Why is a Sense of Purpose Important?

In a seven-year study, researchers surveyed 43,000 Japanese adults. Mortality risk factors, such as alcohol consumption, tobacco use, exercise, gender and education were taken into account for each participant.

Among this population, the 60 percent with a healthy sense of ikigai had lower levels of stress and better health.

Other research has linked a sense of purpose and well-being to some of the following:

  • Better relationships with family and friends
  • An increased ability to cope with physical pain
  • Decreased risk of heart disease
  • Prevention of Alzheimer’s disease
  • Live longer

Finding meaning, passion and purpose in life, however, is often easier said than done. Battling the disease of addiction comes with symptoms that alter the brain’s chemistry, which when treated, takes time to heal and return to a normal balance.

Mental health issues – depression, anxiety, bipolar or post-traumatic stress disorders – can also cast a dark shadow over a person’s ability to have a passion for something or feel a sense of purpose.

The simple beauty of ikigai is that it’s fluid. A person’s sense of purpose in life should evolve as their life unfolds. And anyone can have more than one sense of purpose or reason for getting up every morning.

For those new to recovery, a modest first step is, developing, perhaps, a passion for staying sober and using tools, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, as a means to change the way they used to think and behave.

That purpose might develop into repairing any damaged personal and professional relationships. Farther down the line, mentoring others can enrich anyone’s sense of meaning in life.

What are Examples of Ikigai?

Ikigai is anything a person wants it to be, including:

  • Time with their family and children
  • A fulfilling job
  • Experiencing the outdoors
  • Exercise
  • Volunteering for a cause close to their hearts
  • Reading or writing
  • An infinite number of hobbies

The truth is most people don’t arrive in the world with a clear-cut path to a passion and purpose. With ikigai, exploration is part of journey.

Most people know it when they find it, and having a clear sense of purpose comes with increased energy and drive, and an excitement of getting out of bed every day with a positive outlook on life. Pursuing a purpose on a daily basis gives lasting fulfillment and meaning to life.

Yes, life is hard as Ms. Hepburn said so candidly. But finding a sense of purpose adjusts the importance of life’s nuisances and provides anyone willing to find their ikigai better health, happiness and overall well-being.

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Staying Sober in Stressful Times

Whether you face a personal crisis or are witness to a national emergency such as the COVID-19 outbreak, maintaining sobriety in times of stress can be difficult. But you are not alone. At Ashwood Recovery, we are dedicated to recovery and helping you maintain your sobriety.

We asked a few of our clinical team leaders here to share some tools, tips and tactics to manage stress (and sobriety) in uncertain times:
1. Meditate: Meditation has been used for centuries to relax, reconnect and calm your mind. It’s a practice that can be done anywhere… sitting at your desk, lying in bed, or wherever stress or anxiety pays you a visit. And with the thousands of available meditation apps or online videos, it’s a tool always at your fingertips!

2. Exercise: There is nothing that calms stress like time spent outdoors. While we are all practicing safe distancing, you can still do jumping jacks in your back yard, stretch on your balcony, dance in your living room or throw a ball for your dog. Any activity that gets your heart pumping is good for the soul. And when you exercise, your brain releases dopamine, which sends signals of happiness throughout your body while releasing negative energy.

3. Sleep: Sleep is essential for mental and physical health. Lack of sleep makes it even more difficult to deal with stress and can make small stressors feel bigger than they are. Create a routine at the end of your day to help with sleep. Turn electronics off; write in a gratitude journal; sip some chamomile tea; diffuse essential oils such as lavender or vanilla. A good night’s rest gives your mind and body a chance to rejuvenate and recharge, and often a new perspective on worries and fears.

4. Let go of what you can’t control: This may be the most difficult thing for those in recovery to do. Letting go of how we wish things were or fear of how they might be. Accepting that your own behavior is truly the only thing you can control is empowering. Knowing you have a choice – not a choice in what is happening around you, but a choice in how you respond. Self-reflection, writing in a journal or adopting a mantra to repeat throughout your day can help. “I allow my mind and body to be at ease knowing today will take care of itself.”

And remember, you survived one of the most difficult challenges of your life… you overcame addiction! Hold on to that accomplishment, because it is a big one, and know that you have the strength to overcome whatever comes your way in life.

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The challenges of recovery from addiction are many, yet people do it every day.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201609/recovery-is-process-learning-growth-and-healing

When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. – Benjamin Franklin

September is National Recovery Month. While the term “recovery” can be applied to getting better or improving with regard to a wide range of conditions, it is most commonly associated with overcoming addiction to alcohol and other drugs. In this context, recovery is generally thought of as becoming abstinent from these substances. However, the process of recovery goes far beyond abstinence.

The US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), has defined recovery from both substance use disorders and mental disorders as: “A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”

 Change that risks the unfamiliar is always hard. And, because any process of meaningful life change (such as recovery from addiction) necessitates going beyond the boundaries of our self-constructed containers of comfort and attachment, it tends to be especially arduous, as well as anxiety-provoking. As hard as it can be for anyone stuck in a vicious circle of active addiction to stop using alcohol and other drugs, it is a much more formidable challenge to stay stopped.
 Recovery from addiction is the process of sustaining abstinence and learning and practicing the awareness and skills necessary to live a whole, healthy, and healed life. These two elements reinforce one another: sustained abstinence creates the opportunities to build the skills that facilitate growth and healing, which is not possible during the unremitting entropy of active addiction. Conversely, learning and practicing such skills is instrumental to sustaining abstinence.
 Beyond abstinence, recovery involves:
  • Participating in life activities that are healthy and meaningful, based on your needs, interests, and values;
  • Making changes in how you relate to your thoughts and emotions—especially those that are uncomfortable and painful;
  • Discovering and developing parts of yourself of which you had been unaware, and rediscovering those parts of yourself that were buried beneath the rubble of active addiction;
  • Developing new patterns of living with conscious awareness, and moving toward mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.

To complement the above definition, SAMHSA published 10 Guiding Principles of Recovery, two of which I’ll highlight here. Recovery occurs via many pathways. It is not a one size fits all process—far from it, in fact. While people seeking recovery tend to share certain common experiences and needs, every individual has particular capacities, coping abilities, resources, strengths, interests, goals, culture, and background. These influence and help to determine the most effective pathway(s) of recovery for each person. Recovery pathways can include mutual-aid groups; professional clinical treatment; strategic use of medications; support from families and friends, and faith-based resources, among other approaches.

 Recovery is supported by peers and allies. By providing connection and support through mutual identification, the sharing of experiential knowledge and skills, mentoring, and social learning, mutual-aid groups—the most well known and prevalent of which are the twelve-step programs—play an invaluable role in the process of recovery. Within such groups, those seeking recovery frequently find acceptance, a sense of belonging, the opportunity to develop healthy relationships, and an experience of community. A foundational principle of mutual-aid groups is that being of service to others is an important vehicle through which people help themselves. To paraphrase Ram Dass, I work on myself to help others, and I help others to work on myself.
 

Addiction is a chronic, progressive, and potentially fatal disorder, similar to other chronic life-threatening conditions such as diabetes, asthma, and heart disease. Like these other illnesses, there is no cure for addiction. However, it can be treated and managed successfully through the process of recovery, allowing those with it to live long, full, and healthy lives.

Life takes its toll on all of us, and everyone, whether or not they struggle with addiction, chronic pain, or any other serious condition, sustains a certain degree of damage along the way. Recovery provides a pathway to heal from that damage and become stronger, just as broken bones can become stronger after they heal than they were before.

 

Success is no accident. Although, obviously there are exceptions, people do not generally experience serious problems in living by accident or coincidence. Our choices and actions—both conscious and unconscious—contribute to the vast majority of the problems we experience, including those related to active addiction. In the same way, success is usually a result of the choices we make and the actions we take.

 

In Verse 63, Tao Te Ching states, “accomplish the great task by a series of small acts.” Big successes rarely occur all at once. They are almost always built on a foundation of small successes. There are plenty of stories of bands who play together for a decade, develop their style and work their asses off, drive their own beat-up vehicles from one small, lousy-paying gig to another to play in front of audiences that begin as tiny but grow over time, who seem to suddenly achieve great success. Successful recovery is built similarly—by staying clean one day at a time, many people are able to accumulate many years in recovery. Tragically, in the media and mainstream society we hear much more about the dramatic and fiery wreckage of active addiction and relapse than we do about quiet, inspired, and inspiring stories of long-term recovery.

Early in my clinical training, I was surprised to hear even extremely experienced and skilled therapists say straightforwardly that there were times when they had no clear idea “what was happening in the room.” In other words, in those moments they were confused and unsure about what was going on in their therapy with a given client. However, if they hung in there, exercising patience while continuing to be present-centered and emotionally available, the issues would clarify and they would find their way back to being in sync with the therapeutic process.

The same dynamic operates in the process of recovery—sometimes things are unclear and confused and confusing. Rather than getting twisted up because we are struggling and uncertain, if we hang in there and remain mindfully accepting, open to possibility, and patient—the mud will settle and the water (and how to best proceed) will again become clear.
 Assembling the pieces that sustain recovery and nurture a life of meaning, contentment, and value is a continuous process. It requires identifying and gathering the necessary pieces, seeing how they fit together, and often reconfiguring them—replacing some pieces with others and rearranging them to create the most functional and healthy fit. This fit is individualized; what fits beautifully for one person may not be a great fit for another, and vice-versa. Sometimes we put the pieces together and they work well for a time. After being in place for a while they may not work so well, and we need to seek out new pieces or a different configuration that fits and works better for us.
 
When I was the clinical director of a hospital-based addiction treatment program in Rockland County, NY, for five years during the 1990s, I worked closely with the program’s medical director. He was a psychiatrist who was in recovery for quite a few years through a twelve-step program, although he rarely made mention of it.
 
At one of the many professional conferences on addiction that I attended, he gave a talk that focused on his personal recovery experience. During a powerful and moving presentation, he described being grateful to be an alcoholic. He went on to say that, in contrast to most people who operate more or less on automatic pilot and effectively sleepwalk through life, embarking on a process of recovery had given him the awareness to live life much more intentionally. As a result, he took little for granted and appreciated much. Although his reasoning made sense, it was difficult for me to wrap my mind (never mind my heart) around the idea of having such profound gratitude for being an addict . . . until I found the way to my own recovery.

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Category: Recovery
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201609/recovery-is-process-learning-growth-and-healing

The challenges of recovery from addiction are many, yet people do it every day.

CC0 public Domain / FAQ
When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. – Benjamin Franklin

September is National Recovery Month. While the term “recovery” can be applied to getting better or improving with regard to a 

When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. – Benjamin Franklin

September is National Recovery Month. While the term “recovery” can be applied to getting better or improving with regard to a wide range of conditions, it is most commonly associated with overcoming addiction to alcohol and other drugs. In this context, recovery is generally thought of as becoming abstinent from these substances. However, the process of recovery goes far beyond abstinence.

The US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), has defined recovery from both substance use disorders and mental disorders as: “A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”

 Change that risks the unfamiliar is always hard. And, because any process of meaningful life change (such as recovery from addiction) necessitates going beyond the boundaries of our self-constructed containers of comfort and attachment, it tends to be especially arduous, as well as anxiety-provoking. As hard as it can be for anyone stuck in a vicious circle of active addiction to stop using alcohol and other drugs, it is a much more formidable challenge to stay stopped.
 
Recovery from addiction is the process of sustaining abstinence and learning and practicing the awareness and skills necessary to live a whole, healthy, and healed life. These two elements reinforce one another: sustained abstinence creates the opportunities to build the skills that facilitate growth and healing, which is not possible during the unremitting entropy of active addiction. Conversely, learning and practicing such skills is instrumental to sustaining abstinence.

Beyond abstinence, recovery involves:

  • Participating in life activities that are healthy and meaningful, based on your needs, interests, and values;
  • Making changes in how you relate to your thoughts and emotions—especially those that are uncomfortable and painful;
  • Discovering and developing parts of yourself of which you had been unaware, and rediscovering those parts of yourself that were buried beneath the rubble of active addiction;
  • Developing new patterns of living with conscious awareness, and moving toward mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.

To complement the above definition, SAMHSA published 10 Guiding Principles of Recovery, two of which I’ll highlight here. Recovery occurs via many pathways. It is not a one size fits all process—far from it, in fact. While people seeking recovery tend to share certain common experiences and needs, every individual has particular capacities, coping abilities, resources, strengths, interests, goals, culture, and background. These influence and help to determine the most effective pathway(s) of recovery for each person. Recovery pathways can include mutual-aid groups; professional clinical treatment; strategic use of medications; support from families and friends, and faith-based resources, among other approaches.

 Recovery is supported by peers and allies. By providing connection and support through mutual identification, the sharing of experiential knowledge and skills, mentoring, and social learning, mutual-aid groups—the most well known and prevalent of which are the twelve-step programs—play an invaluable role in the process of recovery. Within such groups, those seeking recovery frequently find acceptance, a sense of belonging, the opportunity to develop healthy relationships, and an experience of community. A foundational principle of mutual-aid groups is that being of service to others is an important vehicle through which people help themselves. To paraphrase Ram Dass, I work on myself to help others, and I help others to work on myself.
 
Addiction is a chronic, progressive, and potentially fatal disorder, similar to other chronic life-threatening conditions such as diabetes, asthma, and heart disease. Like these other illnesses, there is no cure for addiction. However, it can be treated and managed successfully through the process of recovery, allowing those with it to live long, full, and healthy lives.

Life takes its toll on all of us, and everyone, whether or not they struggle with addiction, chronic pain, or any other serious condition, sustains a certain degree of damage along the way. Recovery provides a pathway to heal from that damage and become stronger, just as broken bones can become stronger after they heal than they were before.

 Success is no accident. Although, obviously there are exceptions, people do not generally experience serious problems in living by accident or coincidence. Our choices and actions—both conscious and unconscious—contribute to the vast majority of the problems we experience, including those related to active addiction. In the same way, success is usually a result of the choices we make and the actions we take.
 
In Verse 63, Tao Te Ching states, “accomplish the great task by a series of small acts.” Big successes rarely occur all at once. They are almost always built on a foundation of small successes. There are plenty of stories of bands who play together for a decade, develop their style and work their asses off, drive their own beat-up vehicles from one small, lousy-paying gig to another to play in front of audiences that begin as tiny but grow over time, who seem to suddenly achieve great success. Successful recovery is built similarly—by staying clean one day at a time, many people are able to accumulate many years in recovery. Tragically, in the media and mainstream society we hear much more about the dramatic and fiery wreckage of active addiction and relapse than we do about quiet, inspired, and inspiring stories of long-term recovery.

Early in my clinical training, I was surprised to hear even extremely experienced and skilled therapists say straightforwardly that there were times when they had no clear idea “what was happening in the room.” In other words, in those moments they were confused and unsure about what was going on in their therapy with a given client. However, if they hung in there, exercising patience while continuing to be present-centered and emotionally available, the issues would clarify and they would find their way back to being in sync with the therapeutic process.

The same dynamic operates in the process of recovery—sometimes things are unclear and confused and confusing. Rather than getting twisted up because we are struggling and uncertain, if we hang in there and remain mindfully accepting, open to possibility, and patient—the mud will settle and the water (and how to best proceed) will again become clear. 

Assembling the pieces that sustain recovery and nurture a life of meaning, contentment, and value is a continuous process. It requires identifying and gathering the necessary pieces, seeing how they fit together, and often reconfiguring them—replacing some pieces with others and rearranging them to create the most functional and healthy fit. This fit is individualized; what fits beautifully for one person may not be a great fit for another, and vice-versa. Sometimes we put the pieces together and they work well for a time. After being in place for a while they may not work so well, and we need to seek out new pieces or a different configuration that fits and works better for us. 

When I was the clinical director of a hospital-based addiction treatment program in Rockland County, NY, for five years during the 1990s, I worked closely with the program’s medical director. He was a psychiatrist who was in recovery for quite a few years through a twelve-step program, although he rarely made mention of it. 

At one of the many professional conferences on addiction that I attended, he gave a talk that focused on his personal recovery experience. During a powerful and moving presentation, he described being grateful to be an alcoholic. He went on to say that, in contrast to most people who operate more or less on automatic pilot and effectively sleepwalk through life, embarking on a process of recovery had given him the awareness to live life much more intentionally. As a result, he took little for granted and appreciated much. Although his reasoning made sense, it was difficult for me to wrap my mind (never mind my heart) around the idea of having such profound gratitude for being an addict . . . until I found the way to my own recovery.

Details
Category: Recovery
Hits: 505

Basics of First-Year Sex Addiction Recovery

April 10, 2014

Vicki Tidwell Palmer LCSW, CSAT, SEP

Source Article

It’s important for partners to have a basic understanding of the recovery process. I sometimes find that without this information partners tend to expect or https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/are-you-asking-for-too-much-or-too-little/[ask either too little or too much] from the sex addict.

As I discussed in my post http://partnersurvivalstrategies.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/how-sex-addiction-is-different/[what sets sex addiction apart], sex addiction recovery is different than most other addictions where abstaining from the problematic behavior is the focus and primary goal. Abstaining from sex for the rest of one’s life isn’t reasonable or desirable.

Here are the primary components of a good first-year sexual recovery plan.
These recommendations are typical for the majority of addicts seeking help from a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and may not necessarily reflect the treatment approach of other mental health treatment providers or recovery programs.

Assessment by a mental health professional with specialized training in treating compulsive sexual behavior. http://www.iitap.com/[The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals] (IITAP) is a great resource for locating a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) in your area. Mental health professionals without knowledge or training about compulsive sexual behavior sometimes may not know how to assess the problem and it gets overlooked or minimized. Occasionally, people who are deeply troubled by their sexual behaviors or experience intense shame about normal human sexual feelings or behaviors label themselves sex addicts when it’s simply not the case. On the other hand, most sex addicts tend to minimize the extent of their problematic behaviors. That’s why assessment is so important.

Participation in regular (preferably weekly) individual and group psychotherapy, along with attending 12-step meetings such as http://www.saa-recovery.org/[Sex Addicts Anonymous] (SAA) or http://www.sca-recovery.org/[Sexual Compulsives Anonymous] (SCA) and working with a 12-step sponsor.

Therapists and/or sponsors often recommend to a newcomer that he practice abstinence from all sexual behaviors for the first 3 months of treatment and attend 90 12-step meetings in 90 days – sometimes referred to as “90 in 90.” Although 90 in 90 may seem extreme at first glance, when compared to the amount of time many sex addicts spend planning, preparing for and engaging in their sexual behaviors, 7 hours a week of meetings is often a fraction of the time spent acting out.

Daily written recovery work and reading of recovery literature.

Creation of a sex plan or Three Circle Plan. This plan outlines the behaviors the addict wants to abstain from (inner circle) as well as healthy behaviors (outer circle) that will replace those that are destructive and unhealthy. For more information about SAA’s Three Circle Plan, visit their website.

If the sex addict is in a long-term relationship, the partner or therapist may ask him to prepare a https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/formal-therapeutic-disclosure/[formal therapeutic disclosure]. If he agrees, the sex addict will complete a written disclosure to present to his partner in a therapy session, often followed by a polygraph exam. It is sometimes recommended that the sex addict complete the First Step in his 12-step community before presenting a disclosure to his partner.

Partners often find it helpful to get more information about sex addiction and the recovery process from trusted sources. See http://partnersurvivalstrategies.wordpress.com/resources-for-partners/[Resources] for a list of books and websites.

©Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW (2014)

  1. 5 Secrets of Someone in Recovery