Directions: Usually sex addicts have a significant number of secrets: out-of-wedlock children, credit cards their wives don’t know about, “online lovers” their husbands have no clue exist, and more. In fact, many of the problems you listed in exercise 1.1 are probably there because of the secrets they involve. You might ask yourself how many of the problems listed would be worse if everybody knew the truth about your behavior.

Secrets themselves are a problem. First, you may carry emotional stress from knowing you are being dishonest. Then you may experience anxiety from trying to remember who you told what so you do not trip yourself up. And then there is the fear that the truth will be discovered.

Each of these problems takes a toll on you. What’s worse, you end up believing some of your distortions. By telling a story often enough, an addict starts to live as if the story is reality.

You must start with reality. Remember to include the omissions-not just the lies you have told, but what you have left out. After you list each secret, note which people in your life do not have an accurate picture about you because you have kept the secret from them. If you need more room, use your journal.